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Though I never knew your name
nor had the time it seemed
to give you voice
you cried to me
in your little silence
And it’s not your fault
my little one
that you nested to a place
that could not hold you
or for long
Somewhere in the dark our compasses just went wrong
Like Mama you just wanted a home
as quickly as you could
and we found places too small to fit
At night I heard you dream
or so it seemed
with rattle and bell
of every birthday you’ll never have
In the searing dawn they took you then
Doctors and knives
tubes and blood
and I am so sorry, Miss
They drew you away
and me too it seemed
and left this valley
upon my womb
where no river will ever run again
-k.rolly
There are roofs that only certain rain chooses
and a certain smoke that seeks out the fire
I can only watch your language
but I'll never understand it
-K. rolly
"…perhaps this journey may all make sense.
I can't explain
why so much of this world fell upon us
despite all hopes or the things we did to try
for just a moment in time
to bring something that mattered to life.
Know that in the journeys of the theatre of us which held a rare hope
that we did nothing wrong
But a wheel inside me was set in motion
that will not stop for all the rivers that have come between us
or the countries we tried to cross
which carried no map other than
the longing to get through
and which stretched on and on without mercy into
a night that hasn't ceased.
To finally find a place to stop
and to find a peace
we have so often wanted.
But this land doesn't end and
every fire that burns through another heart
to leave ashes still holds some sort of promise however quiet.
But peace
is not the same as happiness
and the river is still wide.
You
will only happen once
(for me) and never again and now
are the days that if anything of value matters in this world at all
I must hold on to the song of the singer I cannot see.
For in the melody that cuts me in half are the words 'You love, because I loved you first.'
If you could see
What I see
In you…
So, until I wake…know I tried
And gave everything
I gave everything I could..."-k.rolly
